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What Is A F**** N**** That Thinks He’s A Good Dude?

We are fresh off of another episode of Insecure where Lawrence drops the ball yet again.

I’m confident that you all have been keeping up. In the case that you haven’t, I began to dissect Lawrence’s character in last week’s post.  This week’s episode further continued Lawrence’s narrative of what many ladies would call being a “fuck boy.” Any sort of behaviors that involve a man being deceptive, stupid, or irresponsible will most definitely be labeled as fuck boy behavior.

What exactly has landed Lawrence in this position?

In last week’s post I alluded to Lawrence not really being comfortable being a single man. As the season progresses, we find Issa trying to assimilate to single life as well. Both parties are seeing their fair share of difficulties during this transition.

The difference is that Issa is trying to find ways to open up to get what she wants. She wants to get back in the game. But she is also not used to letting new people in. Knowing that Lawrence is out doing his thing gives Issa more of an impetus to sew her royal oats.

Lawrence toggles with his own principles.

His missteps are a product of trying to be someone that he really isn’t. Lawrence is charming. He’s smart, and he’s good looking, but it’s as clear as raindrops that he isn’t a “playa.” It’s evident when he admits to Tasha that he slept with Issa again. It was evident this week when he didn’t prioritize Tasha’s family BBQ over his other plans. He ended up letting her down.

Issa’s decisions thus far as a single woman hasn’t hurt anyone.

We know that it was her cheating that has led to the schism between her and Lawrence. But she is proving that she is sort of learning how to be single in a way that won’t hurt people.

Lawrence is being what I believe he interprets Issa to have been. He is being deceptive. As much of a fuck boy women may see him as, he still has enough integrity to not hold his transgressions in too long. I say that not to commend him, but to put into context that he just isn’t built for this.

We all have friends who are able to juggle men and women without having much issue. Then there are those friends who simply can’t get out of their own way when it comes to dating and messing around. Some of us are more adept at keeping our noses clean than others. There are just ways to go about things and if you honor them, you’ll be rewarded.

Part of that is knowing when to say no or take “L’s.” Lawrence is in this space where he wants to have his cake and eat it too. He hasn’t cared about the impact of his decisions until it has been too late. This leads to a hell of a lot of eye rolling from women and insincere apologies.

Lawrence apologizes with the expectation that everything should go back to exactly how things were prior. He has to learn accountability. All men need to. Most times it is learned as a result of fuck boy behavior.

Tasha exclaims at the end of this week’s episode that Lawrence is a “fuck nigga that thinks he’s a good dude.” She reads him expertly, and in that moment she shows that she isn’t the dunce that he may have taken her to be. What is a fuck nigga that thinks he’s a good dude? He’s a guy who struggles with being accountable. He sells himself this idea that he was justified in his decision. In doing so, he’ll sell said idea to anyone that will listen. This will further convince him that he really isn’t in the wrong.

The problem with us men at times is that we figure, we don’t hit women so we’re a catch. We have a job, so we’re a catch. We speak respectfully to women, so we’re a catch. We have to understand that so much more goes into being a catch than the bare minimums. This is why it was important for Tasha to be as assertive as she was. Lawrence understands now that he needs to be more mindful of who he’s dealing with.

Accountability as men is the root of a lot of our successes. Lack of accountability will always lead to losses. I can promise you that a fuck nigga that thinks he’s a good dude is most definitely someone who struggles with accountability. They make selfish decisions and only think in a short term lens when it comes to dealing with lovers. Tasha was spot on, I’m hoping the homie Lawrence can bounce back.

These are my words and I make no apologies.

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About DamnPOPS

Pops is a staff writer currently at Brooklyn Buttah that's hoping to bring material that people can connect with. If it's a touchy subject, expect him to speak on it. You may have seen him featured on sites such as Single Black Male and Madame Noire. This Brooklynite has a passion to captivate people with words. Roll with him on this trip.

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