He begins to talk about accountability. It’ll add great context to this piece.
The last few months have revealed a lot to me.
One of the biggest lessons I continue to take away from different happenings around me is that everyone does not prioritize things the way that you do. People will consistently do things differently than you. It sounds like pretty basic stuff, but since I am such a stickler for having high integrity, it always seems to shock me.
Many times I would scratch my head and think why would someone do that? What sense does that make? I look at things in context many times. I operate the majority of time trying to be cognizant of doing things with as much character as I can. I try to afford that to anyone that I come in contact with.
Being able to own things and consciously limit mistakes I have always thought to be traits of a stand up guy.
What I learned watching this Kevin Hart interview was that people really, royally fuck up. Many times it’s due to ignorance and recklessness. But those who learn from it, those people learn the value in truly having integrity. I don’t think that any Joe Schmo can be an accountable person. Many times when you have to be accountable, it involves you looking yourself in the eye and truly recognizing your ugly side.
It involves recognizing your wrong, and it takes a certain amount of fortitude to correct that wrong if possible. Someone that isn’t mature could never do such a thing.
Kevin Hart touched on this in the interview where he said that many times, a man’s biggest challenge is his own pride. He stated that pride gets in the way of our growth. When we make mistakes we tend to deflect. We want to bring up stuff that another person did in hopes that it would somehow justify the actions we took. That sentiment has always rubbed me the wrong way. I never understood how highlighting how someone else may transgress the way you do allowed for you to be vindicated of any consequence. I always looked at those things as two separate entities.
I often think of the example of being in a classroom as a kid. Let’s say three kids are talking and the teacher asks you to be quiet. Usually as a kid you go and say, “hey so and so is talking too.” Your teacher most likely said, “was I talking to so and so?” Scenarios like that growing up were some of my first experiences with the importance of being accountable. It was true, it didn’t really matter what the other kids were doing, I was doing it too and I should be looking out for myself.
With every decision that you make, I was of the thinking that it was your decision.
In making those decisions you have to know that you have to own it and no one else. In situations where you’re dating or looking for someone to date, it’s especially important to keep an eye out for these kinds of things. I understand that a lot of women say they want a mature man as they may not be mature themselves. But as I said prior, as men we have a responsibility to ourselves to be the best version of ourselves. That shouldn’t hinder on the maturity level of the person you are dating.
It’s extremely important that the people we decide to be with can find fault in themselves.
It’s likely that if they can’t you’ll always be feeling like shit is your fault. That can create a very unhealthy vibe among the both of you that’ll definitely crescendo at some point. I’d say if you are looking for an accountable person, try and find someone who is extremely humble. You won’t have to twist their arm for them to say that they were wrong.
What are some of your experiences with accountability or lack thereof? Leave some thoughts.
These are my words and I make no apologies.