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Inside His Mind: On Dating

What’s going on in the mind of a man while dating? Here is one man’s point of view.

Asking a woman out on a date can be as nerve racking as opening a sealed envelope pending a standardized test score or as simple as recanting your phone number.

For most men, asking a woman out on a date is a gamble. With the absence of certainty and the possibility of rejection imminent on the her response, most may succumb to their fear and let the window of opportunity of asking a beautiful woman out on a date pass them by.

However, for those confident gentlemen, their intentions for women oftentimes come to fruition, starting with the first date. While the first date for many women may lead to the creation of fresh emotions, the first date for men believe it or not, usually concludes everything he needs to know for the future.

The first date for most men is defined by one of three things: their pursuit of sex, the willingness to fund a second date, and the possibility of a long-term relationship – yes, in that order.

Men are primitive, and that animalistic nature that is possessed oftentimes leads us to secretly consider the act of sex, a sport.

So, with this competitive spirit and perception of wins and losses, men use tactical approaches to acquire what they want. The most utilized and arguably most effective method is dating. But what if a man’s pre-emptive plan of a first date does not result in first date sex? It’s simple, they evaluate the date and rationalize amongst themselves and close friends if the experience is worth a second attempt.

Most men would say yes. No plan in life is 100% successful all the time, and in the words of the late R&B singer Aaliyah, if at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again.

The willingness to fund a second date is oftentimes due to self-determination, tenacity or just plain stubbornness to not be defeated, which women most commonly mistake as persistence – an indicator that he’s interested.

Now ladies, a man in this position is definitely interested, he proves this simply with his time, energy and finances. However, his interest and your interest may not be defined the same and oftentimes we are mistaken in the belief that other people experience things the same way we do.

The best solution to this misinterpretation is for both parties involved to eliminate all the smokes and mirrors and offer an opportunity for open dialogue with the purpose of true transparency.

This mediation accomplishes the preservation of the most invaluable resource we as human beings have, which is time.

The continuum of long-term dating traditionally leads to exclusivity that equates to commitment and entitlement. This last stage is the position where most women would like to be, only if you’re their person of interest. However, men oftentimes perceive this stage adversely, and tend to stay clear, not subsequently because they’re not ready or the women is not good enough, but simply because of the 80/20 rule.

Most men are spoon-fed bowls of greed from the time they’re toddlers. As children, it’s more toys, more of their favorite food, more good grades, more accolades in their chosen sport, more money, better cars, and as they reach adulthood, their greed progressively boils over and it’s more women.

The secret is, to eliminate the competition or greed. Show your person of interest the real you and all that you have to offer and as he reciprocates that to you on the daily, you two combined will give everything each of you need and more to be the perfect person for one another.

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About BK Buttah

BK Buttah is the handle used for all guest contributors who aren't regular to the site, or are simply writing to the masses anonymously.

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