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Decoded: What Men Really Mean

Men love joking on “female logic.” There are – admittedly hilarious – memes about us not knowing what we want to eat (I now will never admit this out loud), not wanting our men to tweet certain women (I mean …), and, my favorite, jumping to conclusions. This one is my favorite because, even though they don’t see it, men can sometimes be more confusing than they think.

I thought it would be fun to survey my friends for phrases men throw out that never seem to tell us what they actually want to say.

Of course, already knowing men would claim we read into things, I decided to run these phrases by a guy friend to see if “female logic” is all that wrong. I mean, really, when a guy says something like, “Let’s just see where things go,” is that what he really means?

BrooklynButtah’s own DAMNPOPS was the perfect person to help me decide what men don’t always fully disclose. Keep reading for a few typical quotes, my translation, and DAMNPOPS’ much appreciated two cents.

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What He Says: “I’m not looking for anything serious right now.”

What She Translates: “I plan to be as involved as they’ll let me with as many people as possible.”

E.: I don’t think this always means you’re not looking for a relationship. You just want to have fun in the interim of being single, but you’re probably still subconsciously making cuts to your roster, if you’re being honest. You’re just not impressed enough yet with one person yet to stop playing the game.

DAMNPOPS: “I’m not looking for anything serious right now,” means, I’m attracted to you, you’re cool. And I don’t think it’s so much about not wanting to be tied down, but just not wanting to deal with responsibilities that come with monogamy. They’re attracted, they want to have sex, go on some dates, but that’s what works for them during that season.

What He Says: “You have a lot going for you. I don’t wanna be a distraction.”

What She Translates: “You’re going places, and I don’t wanna be pinned down just yet.”

E.: I don’t think they care as much about distracting you from things. It may be more of, not being ready to go with you.

DAMNPOPS: “Not wanting to be a distraction,” I think is accurate.men-decoded3-bb

What He Says: “I wanna focus on my career.”

What She Translates: “I needed an excuse to break things off without it feeling too personal.”

E.: Men can sometimes just throw this out when they’re trying not to hurt your feelings. Of course, it can sometimes be valid, too. Some people would rather have their professional life together before investing in their personal.

DAMNPOPS: “I wanna focus on my career,” very well could mean just that, especially if there is some distance involved.men-decoded2-bb

What He Says: “I’m not good enough for you.”

What She Translates: “I’m not interested enough to step up and be the kind of man you need or want right now.”

E.: Sometimes a man just isn’t ready to be relationship-ready for you. He doesn’t want to be good enough for you, for whatever reason.

DAMNPOPS: “I’m not good enough for you,” could mean what you’re thinking, or it could mean dude really realizes that you guys are on different levels and he really may not want to hold you back. It’s a pride thing essentially.

How do you think my “female logic” turned out, in this case? Men like to think they say exactly what they mean, while women know sometimes it’s what they aren’t saying that makes all the difference.

I’d like to thank DAMNPOPS for helping me figure men out a little better. Feel free to let me know what I got right and what I got wrong. In the meantime, you may want to think about taking the time to read between the lines.

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About E. Martin

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