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Can A Woman Not “Be Ready” For A Guy That She Likes?

As of late, it has been brought to my attention that sometimes a woman may not “be ready” to be with a guy that they like.

As a guy, I must have simply been ignorant to this fact. You see, I have always seen and heard women be critical of men who were never ready for relationships. I have been one of those guys as well as probably 91% of other guys. It’s rarely talked about (I think) when women aren’t ready for a guy that they like. As a matter of fact, there are a couple women that I interviewed that didn’t directly give the person they were seeing a reason as to why things didn’t progress.

That also was just a spoiler alert.

This topic fascinated me and I wanted to get the words straight from a reputable source. I decided to speak to six women. All of these ladies are ladies that I know personally and I’m appreciative of their transparency. I wanted to know just how prevalent women not being ready for certain guys was. I think I was able to get a pretty good idea here. Check it out.

Have you ever met a man that you liked but felt you weren’t ready to date?

Joanna: Yes

Ty: Yes

Lissa: Yes I have

Rosi: Sort of

Gina: Kind of

Shanel: Yes

Why weren’t you ready?

Joanna: I wasn’t ready because I felt like I would’ve been tied down and he expected far much more than what I had to offer at the time, I called that my “thotty” phase. I didn’t want to be tied down but he wanted to give me the world. I wasn’t mature nor ready to be submissive to a guy…even if he was giving me the world.

Ty: I was in my 20’s and I felt like I wasn’t on his level because he was in his 30’s. He had been divorced and was established and I was not at the time.

Lissa: I felt like I wasn’t ready because he was so mature and sure of what he wanted. I knew I wasn’t done with my “wild child” days and I wanted to keep exploring and having fun. He was definitely the one that got away.

Rosi: The only situation that I can somewhat relate is the time I started falling for a close friend of mine. He was literally like my best male friend and we became really close. I really really liked him but fell back because I didn’t want to lose the friendship because I was still young. I wasn’t interested in being in love, or getting my heart broken. Those are things that really made me take a step back.

Gina: I think I felt that way when I met my current boyfriend. I was 22 right out of school and he’s almost 10 years older than me. I was still in my college mindset and he was already living on his own and totally independent. Being with someone who was so mature and experienced seemed intimidating.

I initially tried to fight it! I told him all sorts of excuses to avoid spending any real time with him because I was so scared. But he was persistent. That was when I realized that men make time for that they want. Women seem to function more out of obligation. But when a guy wants something, he’ll do what it takes to have it.

Shanel: I wasn’t ready because I was young and trying to have fun. I still wanted to party and hang with friends regularly. He also was a few years older than me and he was ready to settle down. I was still in college and just wasn’t in the right space to commit. Not to mention, I wasn’t sure if  he was the caliber of man that I was ready for. I wasn’t sure if I was worth the treatment he was willing to give.

Pretty good stuff here right?

I noticed a theme here. There was this feeling of a woman feeling inadequate for a certain guy. This feeling attributed almost solely to some of these women not wanting to be with said person.

Once I was able to highlight the feeling of being inadequate, I realized that I actually experienced this with a woman before. She was someone that I liked a lot and had a good time with. She never felt good enough for us to go any further. So we had an off and on thing for a few months, but she always felt disengaged.

I didn’t understand, mainly because I’m still chasing a bunch of goals of my own. My homie Shanel highlighted how a woman gets treated. She stated that every woman isn’t used to certain treatment and when they get it, sometimes they don’t embrace it. On the other hand, sometimes you’re not at certain stages in your life that you would like to be as Ty highlighted.

I have certainly felt that way in the past, but for whatever reason, I just never considered women feeling that way.

Maybe I thought that all you ladies were just born ready.

This is all very silly of me by my own admission by the way. I really wanted to use this post as more of a lesson to myself. But I also wanted to show all of us another way in which we struggle.

If someone shows genuine interest in us, then we have to embrace it if the feelings are mutual. Unless someone really isn’t your type, try to not overthink things. I know I have done this a time or two.

Just bear in mind that most of the ladies above may regret things not working out. It may not keep them up at night, but I think there are some things that they might have done differently. Let’s not be so hard on ourselves.

These are my words and I make no apologies.

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About DamnPOPS

Pops is a staff writer currently at Brooklyn Buttah that's hoping to bring material that people can connect with. If it's a touchy subject, expect him to speak on it. You may have seen him featured on sites such as Single Black Male and Madame Noire. This Brooklynite has a passion to captivate people with words. Roll with him on this trip.

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