It surely has been a while. Happy New Year!
For the past month and change I have pretty much sat back and enjoyed family and friends during the holidays. I usually take some time away from writing around the holiday season mainly because it gets so busy.
This year things weren’t too different, but I also felt like it was a time for me to step back and observe. So much of what I write is based off of parallels I see in my own relationships and relationships around me. Through many conversations I end up with many ideas.
A common theme that has become clear to me lately is the importance of dating responsibly. What exactly is dating responsibly? What is its importance?
My definition of dating responsibly is holding yourself accountable for whatever the results are from your relationships. If you take credit for the highs you have experienced, you also have to take ownership of your part in the lows.
The importance of dating responsibly is two-fold.
For starters, as we get older, it becomes more important to consider other people’s feelings. You have to remain cognizant of how our actions affect the folks we are with. Secondly, you should want to be able to have a clear conscience. You want to be able to live with yourself, your decisions and feel proud of them. That sentiment should be the barometer used as you make decisions in any relationship.
Dating responsibly involves taking a step back and making informed decisions. It requires honesty with oneself. For the record, I haven’t said so but I’m really speaking to male accountability in this post. I’ll let the ladies call the ladies out on this stuff, but as men, I think it’s important to hold ourselves to a higher standard.
I really believe being an accountable person is the sexiest thing to be.
I’ve given advice on many occasions. And of course, on many occasions my advice wasn’t utilized. It’s a dynamic that we all have experienced.
Through the years I’ve realized that my advice isn’t sexy. It’s not exciting. It’s not fun. Telling the truth isn’t always fun. Not calling someone when you do want to call them isn’t fun. Making responsible decisions that would less complicate your situation isn’t exciting. But all of those things spare your feelings and others to one degree or another.
I have always taken the stance that prevention is better than cure.
Better yet, a sports analogy, do your work early on defense. Good things happen when you do. It’s a new year and all I ask of my guys is to hold yourself to the same standards you hold the folks that you desire. Require more of yourself. Be honest with yourself and always remember you get what you give. There’s no cheating that. Keep your words soft and sweet always in case you have to eat them.
These are my words and I make no apologies.
P.S. Thank you Obama!