After coming into a few first impressions as of late, I realized people are not what you expect them to be. When we first meet someone, we are on our best behavior. We have on a mask and we want to impress someone to see us again.
Phone calls and text conversations give a glimpse of a person, and helps encourage the idea of meeting, but it is still not the physical. Texts are impersonal and hard to interpret; a phone call is the step right before physically meeting, so you take that to equate a person’s being. Using these phone calls and texts, you begin to think of what their mannerisms and demeanor may be like. As much as it is not advised, it’s natural to assume what you expect to see when you come face-to-face.
I have endured extremely dull, boring text conversations, only to meet an animated and happy person. I have also witnessed a humorous and jokey person reveal a very one-sided and plain personality.
First date rules, such as being punctual or opening the door, are embedded in our mind. But what happens when those things do not happen? Did this person ruin the first date? Are our expectations too high?
Then I think about how much times have changed. Not too many seem to care about making a lasting impression. They think they have another chance to reveal an enhanced, different side. This is the wrong way to think, but some people do. How else am I to want to see you again if you’re barely carrying conversation, late to meeting, or making it very obvious you have no clue how to get through a date? And your only excuse is that you don’t know me very well. Isn’t that the point of a date? But that’s a tangent for another day.
When I walk away from a first date unsatisfied, the first impression contributed to that decision. Sometimes a second date changed for the better or reminded me why I didn’t want to go out again.
Take all communications prior to meeting at face value. You have to shift your mind to think you’re meeting this person for the first time all over again; no matter how many times ya’ll spoke until 2 a.m. Maybe over the phone they say they love to drink, and when you head to the bar, their version of love means too much.
My mother always recommended coffee dates as an initial date. Also considered a “pre-date,” which I’ve seen used across social media, a short version of an official date, but similar to a meet-and-greet, that helps you feel out someone. A lot of people may oppose this idea/theory, but it’s worth a try.
The first impression is the most important and tells you as much as you need to know when determining what to do with someone. If you notice someone trying to impress you, and they succeed, it says a lot about their character and respect for you. Don’t be too harsh in judging somebody, but don’t let big things skid by.
What you read in text messages is not always what you’ll get.