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Is There A Grey Area Between Sexual Stamina and Desire?

This has been a long week.

Two years ago I wrote a piece about men going two rounds or more here on Single Black Male. It’s funny how what’s old can always become new again. Finding the time to write has been a struggle. My first article idea for this week stemmed from a conversation that I had with a young lady. She said that lately, she has been so tired from work that by the time she gets home she didn’t feel like doing anything sexual. Up until that point I had never really heard a woman say that verbatim.

For a second, I thought about myself.

I’d be the first to call myself “horndog” #1, but at the same time I’ve been tired lately too. Much like the young lady I speak of, I too have been super busy at work for the last few weeks. I however, am not ready to concede that I’m always too tired for sex. As a matter of fact I’ve been too tired for it and still did it; like a typical guy right?

But seriously, as we get older it’s becoming apparent to me that you really have to juggle the business and pleasurable parts of your life expertly. As the week progressed, I found myself seemingly on #Twitterafterdark. Sure, they didn’t name it that, but it was your typical after dark thread of tweets.

I’m not too sure where the subject originated, but the subject of going six rounds was at hand. Yes, going six rounds in the bedroom. The discussion was pretty much asking if going six rounds was even possible. Furthermore, is it too much to ask of a man? This topic directly correlated with my initial idea about being too tired for sex and its relevance if any.

As you can imagine guys were giving the most exaggerated scenarios to the ladies as jokes. It was as if to say that such a request or desire was simply unreasonable. I actually don’t think it’s too much to desire six rounds. The reality that it happens more times than not is something to put in more of a context. You see, I think certain couples can have such a connection that would allow for them to go six rounds without little thinking or effort. At the same token, it won’t be that way with everybody. If there are women out there demanding any such thing, as a guy feel free to steal a line from 50 Cent.

50 is a man of great proverbs. One of the most notable being “This relationship shit is too much for me, I wanna fuck, be friends and live comfortably.” On that same track he gives all men a line we can find peace in if you ever think you’re being asked too much of. He says “she should have what she wants, just not from me.”

Basically, if guys feel going five and six rounds is excessive, there’s no reason for them to feel inadequate. Maybe there’s a gamut of fellas who can perform such a way with no complaints. It’s possible. I’ve went six rounds a time or two I’m sure. But with that girl, the chemistry was incomparable. It didn’t matter if I was tired or not, we were in for a long night more times than not.

Now if the ladies have experienced such a thing and then end up with you, then another guy simply set a precedent. A woman might want that kind of action and you may not be prepared to give it. I think that’s understandable too. From a physical standpoint, men need breaks too. Just as women may complain after a couple rounds of possibly being sore the same goes for men. There’s times that by the third round we’re really doing it for you. This is only sometimes. But the same way a vagina has the prospect of drying up, a penis has a high likelihood of feeling sore.

I think many guys’ reaction to the six rounds conversation came from their personal experience of feeling soreness. The times in my life where I went multiple rounds I can always remember digging it but really doing it for the girl. I’ve been sore before and just sucked it up for the pleasure of the woman. Now of course this conversation went into all sorts of directions. Some people talked about dudes not being able to get it up. Some guys said these women should go to their side niggas for all that. My oldest male cousin joked with me and asked, do these women have six round ****?! Do they have six round skills? I hollered in laughter. He made the point and I took it to be all in fun for sure. But what he was alluding to is that there are many factors that’ll lend itself to one’s stamina and desire.

What I didn’t want to be lost in this conversation though is that the desire for the sex and the stamina involved may not be related at all. At this point in our lives as I alluded to earlier, we have other factors that may compromise performance. For guys, rest is supremely important. With great rest, you probably do get a bunch of rounds out of a guy. The pressure on men is that nothing goes unless we go. I think that’s something men are cognizant of. They may feel they’re doing their best and they read a thread like that and think – sheesh!

The nuances of this subject is hard to cover in 140 characters.

It helps to have a much more balanced conversation on this once we consider the variables involved. If you can give her six rounds, go forth and be fruitful. If not, don’t sweat it nuh mon. Y’all go get some this weekend, and be safe with it.

These are my words and I make no apologies.

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About DamnPOPS

Pops is a staff writer currently at Brooklyn Buttah that's hoping to bring material that people can connect with. If it's a touchy subject, expect him to speak on it. You may have seen him featured on sites such as Single Black Male and Madame Noire. This Brooklynite has a passion to captivate people with words. Roll with him on this trip.

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