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Maybe I’m Petty

We all have a list of turn-ons and turnoffs.

Many times we can be accused of being too petty or nitpicky when it comes to our turnoffs. On a long ass train ride this weekend to La Marina, my old roommate and I were catching up. He asked me about one girl who he saw me with a while back. He wanted to know what ever became of her, why isn’t she around now?

I told him there were a few glaring reasons why things never progressed.

For the record, the girl was smart and she was cute. We all know that isn’t always enough to cut the mustard. I told my boy that mentally we were just in two different places. We never dated or anything, but I knew that she liked me. In conversation and learning more about her day today dealings, I just realized we moved differently. Where she prioritizes certain things didn’t make much sense to me. Also, I thought she could be the type to become complacent and not want to get out of her comfort zone. I think that’s a recipe for what I call a “Hood Love Story.” The definition regarding that, I’ll get into at another time.

On top of all of that, I’m just very big on a woman presenting herself well. This has not much to do with what you wear, but your general cleanliness. There were just too many instances in which I saw the tracks in this girl’s head. I’m a guy that just notices these things. Sometimes her scalp may have been too dry. Just didn’t look good to me. I always end up processing these things thinking if someone can’t do their hair properly, what else are they neglecting?

Furthermore, I’m wondering where are this girl’s friends? Also, how does a guy go about telling a woman, hey umm I don’t think I should be seeing that? Or how would you tell a woman that she maybe immature, etc. It’s a tough spot for a guy. So we cut our losses, we stop speaking to them in cases like these. I personally don’t want to tell a woman how to be one and how she should take care of herself. So although some may call these turnoffs petty, for me these are all basic prerequisites for dating. It’s like asking for a resumé and still making you fill out online job experience. It’s a process.

When I told my boy all of this, he died laughing.

He didn’t laugh so much out of humor, but more of amazement, because the woman he saw at the party that night didn’t seem to be lacking in those areas. “She was on that night” I told him. But the more you hang around a person, the more you pick up on the things that may rub you the wrong way.

In closing, I’ll say this, deal breakers are deal breakers. Don’t ever compromise on one of your deal breakers. Chances are that it’s a deal breaker because it’s directly correlated with something you care about. I love great hygiene, cute face or not you just have to take care of yourself. If this is petty, then change my name to DamnPetty. Happy July y’all.

What are your deal breakers? How would you go about telling someone something unflattering, or would you? Do you have a similar story, share it!

These are my words and I make no apologies.

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About DamnPOPS

Pops is a staff writer currently at Brooklyn Buttah that's hoping to bring material that people can connect with. If it's a touchy subject, expect him to speak on it. You may have seen him featured on sites such as Single Black Male and Madame Noire. This Brooklynite has a passion to captivate people with words. Roll with him on this trip.

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